I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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