Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
