wat bout pragnant strippers??
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
