i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Randomize
