I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
