just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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