i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
