go do what you do best...puke behind churches
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
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