Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
