Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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