Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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