I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
