Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
