Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
