So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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