if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
