Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
