respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
