Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
