I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
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