Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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