4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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