..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
false alarm, still single
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
