So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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