Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
