the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
