he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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