Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
All I want is dick and wine.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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