I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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