I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
