they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
