rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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