We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
and you fell through a lawn chair
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
