i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
