I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
