Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Randomize
