..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
