you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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