I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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