u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
