textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
we're so committed to being not committed
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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