The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
