Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Randomize
