My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Mom said you looked used
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
