no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
