Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Randomize
