half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
