Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
