I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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