well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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