Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
